My first baby – what a thrill it was to have him! It was a small village but a large house where my mother-in-law lived. Her prized possession – her grandson, was placed in her hands. It was heavenly for her to hold him, cuddle him, talk to him, sing to him. It was very amusing how she would give him all the stories about his grandfather. I wondered – ‘Would the baby, a few months old understand!?’
However, it was a great relief for me to receive her support, as I could take care of all household work without any interruption.
One excited cry from her that brought me from the kitchen – “ My grandson! He is looking at my mouth while I am talking!” It was a matter of celebration for her.
A few weeks later, I see my son making efforts to turn on his side. Perhaps he wants to turn on his tummy. How could I keep quiet and watch when he is struggling? I went to turn him and the grandmother said “ no, let him do it!”
‘Such a heartless creature she is!’ I thought, but went away quietly.
In a couple of days he turned, but hit his nose on the hard floor. No crying; but he made greater efforts to raise his head and when he did, he was all smiles. As if by some unheard commands, his elbows rested on the floor and they helped him to lever himself forward. While all this was happening, the grandmother was narrating to all her friends how her grandson had turned on his tummy and how he tried to move. For her, he was Mr. Hillary getting on top of Mount Everest.
Worried about his elbows and stomach brushing against the hard and cold floor, I wanted to put him on a soft satin mattress, but the idea was vetoed. As weeks passed, my son made several attempts before he could raise himself even a few centimeters, while the grandmother gently talked to him, cajoled him, stood up to him and clapped her hands even when he did not succeed. I wondered why she rejoiced even in his failure!
‘Anai, anai, azhagar anai’ she would sing in rhythm with his movement. My baby would smile even during the hardships he was undergoing. Then came the trying time with the grandson moving across the big halls, and she had to watch him constantly so that he would not get into trouble. She attracted him with some colorful toys with which he would play for some time but not for long. Movement seemed to be the essence of his life!
The houses in the villages had large door frames and the passage from one room to another would mean crossing a high threshold. Now, my son was trying to cross that and go to the next room. Was it not difficult for him to climb and also land safely on the other side? A couple of days later, my son tried very hard to cross the doorstep. Of course the grandmother was happily watching the great struggle. She was there as the guardian angel to protect him if he got into some struggle.
One day, he climbed and rolled over to the other side. A shriek of joy from the grandmother and celebrations followed! The courtyard was cleaned and decorated, neighbors were informed, sweets were distributed, the child was blessed with flowers, coins, sweets showered on him.
My mother-in-law sat with me on that day and told me how important all these different stages of achievements were in the growth and development of the child. She also emphasized how it is not right to do things for the child but to help and encourage the child to achieve. I could see the wisdom of elders as she explained the little nuances of how to achieve that.
Years later when I took the training in Montessori education I came across the same thought again-
“ HELP THE CHILD TO HELP HIMSELF.”
Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash
Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
Photo by Sandra Seitamaa on Unsplash
